Stuff from November 2008.

Potential
Sunday November 09, 2008

It’s a rather cold night tonight. Colder than most. It’s a sign that winter is upon us.

Ever start on something, and then half-way through, realize that what you started is no longer what you wanted? I can be really indecisive. I’ve had this happen to me on numerous instances. Yet its one of those things that you never learn to prevent. It is something that you just start, and then by nature, really figure it out later on during the process.

I think at this point, I’m just rambling. I’ve been doing that more often lately. Not really thinking about what I’m actually saying and just saying it.

I just texted Teddy and told him that I was feeling emo. He immediately assumed that I meant the sad, lonely, cut-your-wrist kind of emo. What people don’t always realize though, is that emo does not only refer to sad emotions. It can be a wide range of emotions. There are days when I feeling just about everything at once. The good and the bad, the sad and the happy. Times like these I feel like hiding under a blanket and never coming out.

I’ve been putting myself out there a lot lately. When I say a lot, I mean it. I think that I’m going to have to slow down a bit and take a break. Get my feet back on the ground. Certainly getting out there is a great feeling, but it leaves much to be desired. It’s time to get back to me (I think I’ve said that before recently).

I just caught up on a couple episodes of One Tree Hill. Man, if I were involved in that kind of drama, I’d have probably gone crazy. For some reason though, that’s the kind of drama I want to be around. Despite all the bad stuff, there is so much love and so much happiness. It just feels normal and proper. Well, maybe except for the murder, but still, even that in itself can be exciting (yes, that sounds terribly mean).

Party at the end of the month. Schedules changing in the middle of the month (and I’m crossing my fingers for that 4-day work week). Just completed a year with Helio. Three dates with you so far. Getting back into gaming, slowly but surely. Gaining weight again, finally. New music. New light bulb. Sadness over the passing of Prop 8. A little more tolerance for something that I used to not enjoy. Trust and amazement for someone who I just was unsure about. A new opportunity. Still having ‘fun’. Much happiness that Obama was elected. Upgraded to Mines of Moria. Subscribed to Zune Pass.

I cannot wait to love again.

Battle
Saturday November 29, 2008

I really want to write something long, but the words don’t seem to come to me.

Thankful? I am. For Komoda, J, Teddy. For my friends. For change. For progress and for music.

Watched some Everwood, Jack & Bobby, and Gilmore Girls - I miss those shows. Bought an Xbox 360. Started a Netflix subscription. Upgraded to the NXE and created an avatar. Started work on a new site. Did some upgrades to the existing site. Finally slowed down. Had a great Thanksgiving. Doing a lot of spending at Starbucks. Gaining even more weight. Thinking about Las Vegas (and Reno) in January. Cleaned out a bunch of games (for almost $300 in credit). Re-arranged some of the stuff in my room and cleaned it completely.

Sometimes I wonder why people try so hard. It all seems so fleeting and futile.

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